Movies of War

Billy Corgan welcomed former Smashing Pumpkins and Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur as a guest on the latest episode of his podcast The Magnificent Others. Across their 90-minute conversation, the two revisited their musical journey together, beginning with their meeting at a Pumpkins show in Montreal in 1991, which inspired Auf der Maur to pick up the bass and start her own band. Corgan also recounted recommending Auf der Maur to Courtney Love as Hole’s replacement for Kristen Pfaff, an offer which Auf der Maur initially turned down (“I did it for women. When I saw her, Patty, and Frances… I joined for that pocket of women and for the women of the world. I literally understood that through my strange mentor Billy, I had a job to do for women and that I understood that I’m doing this to get women’s stories out there and to put us on a male-dominated landscape. And it was like a mega calling like through the ages of art history.”) The two went on to discuss their shared experiences with Love, including how her decision to prioritize Hollywood opportunities over Hole ultimately led Auf der Maur to resign from the band in 1999. She subsequently joined the Smashing Pumpkins in place of D’arcy Wretzky for the band’s then-final tour in support of Machina. Advertisement Related Video Toward the end of the conversation, Auf der Maur discussed her disillusionment with the industry at the end of her time with the Pumpkins and why it took her years to appreciate both Love’s and Corgan’s own perspectives. “I think it’s because at that point — and we nailed it earlier — I didn’t trust anybody. I was traumatized. I was traumatized by all of the things that happened. I didn’t trust you anymore. And I didn’t trust you,” Auf der Maur explained. “I think in my mind, there was this feeling of, ‘They only want me for the value that I can offer them and their world. They don’t want me for what’s good for me.’ I really felt like no one was looking out for me. I mean, if you see the world of the brutal, brutal music industry that it was, why should I trust anyone? I really felt like my value was only worth what it brought to you. “But I now know — especially because of the testament to time, in the same way that Courtney and I are so close now and she really did forgive me for leaving the band — she had other stuff to do and she had to self-destruct after that. But both of you, and me towards you, we really deeply care about our sole purpose in this lifetime of ours. I now know very much so that you were looking out for me as this young girl with some metaphysical crazy fantasy that I needed to live out. You did not hound me to stay, and I’m pretty grateful for that, too.” Advertisement Auf der Maur joined Corgan to promote her new memoir, Even the Good Girls Will Cry. After reuniting with the Pumpkins on stage last year to perform “The Everlasting Gaze,” she’s set to join Love on the road in the near future. Load More